Partnership in Parenting

We weren't meant to do this alone. But somehow we keep trying to.

Last month, we touched on these same verses in the opening of Paul’s letter in Philippians 1, but there’s a piece of this message that is so important I felt the need to call it out all on its own:

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."
- Philippians 1:3-5

Partnership.

Paul didn't do ministry alone. He had Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, Luke, Priscilla and Aquila, and these beloved Philippians who supported him, prayed for him, and walked alongside him through the hardest seasons. When he was imprisoned, they sent Epaphroditus to care for him. When he needed encouragement, they were faithful to show up.

And friend, we aren't meant to parent alone either.

God designed us for community. We’ve all heard the phrase “it takes a village” and it’s true! He wants us to live in community: People who can look at us in our hard moments and say, "I see you. You're not alone. Keep going." People who will watch the kids so we can breathe. Small groups that pray for our families by name. Friends who remind us that this phase will pass and we're doing better than we think.

Jesus himself modeled partnership. He sent the disciples out two by two. He prayed with His closest friends in the garden. He invited Peter, James, and John into His most vulnerable moments. He wept with Mary and Martha at Lazarus's tomb. He didn't isolate Himself in His ministry… He lived in community.

If Jesus – who was God in the flesh – needed partnership, why do we think we can do this parenting thing alone?

Here's what I've noticed in my years working with families: The parents who thrive aren't the ones who have it all figured out. They're not the ones with the easiest kids or the biggest bank accounts or the most natural parenting skills.

They're the ones who've found their people. And more importantly, they're the ones who've been brave enough to let those people in.

Community doesn't just happen. Partnership requires vulnerability. It requires us to stop saying "I'm fine" when we're not. It requires us to text that friend at 11pm and say, "I need help." It requires us to admit that we can't do this alone, that we were never supposed to, and that needing people doesn't make us weak… it makes us human.

So let me ask you: Who is in partnership with you in raising your kids?

Do you have someone who knows the real story – not the Instagram version – the 7am meltdown version? Someone who's praying for your family by name? Someone you can text on a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and say, "I'm drowning" without having to explain yourself?

And here's the harder question: Are you letting them in?

Or are you still trying to carry it all alone, convinced that needing help means you're failing, that good parents should be able to handle this, that everyone else has it more together than you do?

Because they don't. I promise you, they don't.

That mom in the parking lot who looks like she's got it all together? She's probably desperate for someone to be honest with her so she doesn't have to pretend anymore.

That friend from church who keeps asking how you're doing? She probably really wants to know – not the surface answer, but the truth.

That family member who's offered to help? They probably mean it.

We were designed for partnership. For community. For bearing one another's burdens and weeping with those who weep and carrying each other's loads when the weight gets too heavy.

Paul thanked God for his partners in the gospel – the people who showed up, who stayed, who walked alongside him through prison and shipwrecks and beatings and rejection. He couldn't have done what God called him to do without them.

And you can't do what God has called you to do in parenting without your people either.

I encourage you to try this: Reach out to one person – a friend, a family member, someone from church, even a neighbor – and be honest about one thing you're struggling with in parenting. Not a surface struggle, but a real one. Let them partner with you in prayer, encouragement, or practical help.

And if you don't have that person yet? Ask God to bring them into your life. Then keep your eyes open, because He will. He designed you for community, and He's faithful to provide it.

You weren't meant to do this alone. Stop trying to. The joy Paul talks about – the joy that comes from partnership in the gospel, from shared purpose and shared struggle and shared faith – it's waiting for you on the other side of vulnerability.

Let someone in. You'll be so glad you did.